Own-goal for Doherty die-hards

Public calls 'Full-time' on newly released 'Gary Doherty EP'.

Wednesday 19th May 2010

'Forget the Papers!". they cried aloud, in support of City favourite Gary Doherty.  It was, however, too little, too late.

For all 'We Can't Dance', a local fan-band could have done, the tides of Public Opinion cannot be ignored.  The central defender was released from Carrow Road duties roughly a week later.  This despite being named as 3rd in Norwich City's recent Player of the Season poll.

What could be the reason?  What could be the rhyme?  City fans have been devastated by the news.  Bruised and confused, they watch their hero slide into the recesses of relative insignificance.  

It occurs, however, to one such as myself, that once again, a hero has been hoodwinked at the hands of his disciples. 

I'm sure we're all acutely aware of the pressures placed on the modern footballer.  It's a jungle out there, what with all the cars, cash and playtime.  Gary Doherty must've had enough on his plate, without the added weight of worship from those at home. 

According to one recent article from www.footballandmusic.co.uk, however, he was also charged with savng BBC 6 Music.  A lofty task.  Apparently, his star status, coupled with the recent flop-single from Access To Music scholars 'We Can't Dance' was exactly the formula needed by the troubled radio station.  Surely, one mere human cannot juggle the perils of modern professional football and be the Exalted Saviour of the alternative national musical interest?    

Yet there was more.  Shortly after Norwich City were relegated to Division One, the ATM Indie-Punksters penned their plea to their Fave Player.  When questioned on the issue, singer/guitarist Harry Dawson was quoted as follows:

“All the papers were giving Gary Doherty rubbish but he’s one of my favourite players.”

He went on:

“He’s a bit like Marmite - people either love him or hate him, but I’m one of those people who thinks he’s brilliant.”

Gosh, Hazza!  What more can we, as mere mortals, truly ask of one man?  We've seen him on the field, responsibility draped across his even frame like a casual Kashmir sweater.  And we're sure he'll save 6 Music.  We just know it.  But Marmite?  Mixed messages or what?

No longer merely human, we now transform G.D into a sort of Spreadable Deity - omni-present in each of our lives, known to all, and best on toast.  Yet devisive is he.  So loved, so loathed.  Like a rod through the very centre of England, those for and against stand seperate, unable to move past the boundaries of taste and preference.  Families, split like a Chocolate Orange.  Brothers, torn apart. 

In short, by releasing a slightly mediocre, sport-based single, idolising one man above all others, and simply not thinking before they'd spoken, local band 'We Can't Dance' have propelled their unfortunate hero to the status of Civil War.

In some ways, therefore, we must be glad that the single never charted.  The flow of division is stemmed, for now at least.  Ian Johnson, of Access To Music, and a firm supporter of the band, has reported that the four-piece are 'dissapointed'.

I should think so too.  Let them find a corner, and think upon their actions. 

 Further Reading:

www.footballandmusic.co.uk - Vastly elevated 6 Music claim